We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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