I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Couch. On fire.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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