# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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