im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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