we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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