Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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