It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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