i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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