you win again, gameday.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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