I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize