This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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