did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
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There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
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Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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