He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize