You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He felt like a one man threesome
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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