you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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