dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize