if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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