Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
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You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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