I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
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No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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