i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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