im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize