I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize