it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Randomize