just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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