Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize