What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
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we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize