Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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