I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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