I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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