Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
God, I missed his penis.
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