butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize