I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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