If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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