I wish I could teleport
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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