if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize