you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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