Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize