shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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