Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
well you can't waste a boner
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
