This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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