no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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