Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize