I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize