I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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