I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize