I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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