You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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