Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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