Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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