I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize