guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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